How to be a Supportive Friend

So the weekend was great, did some antiquing with a friend. I was along for moral support and the vicarious shopping experience. Was almost tempted to purchase a lovely walnut Eastlake style Gingerbread clock, but resisted the temptation. Yeah for me for being strong! Then we went out for dinner. I wasn't planning on it but sensed my friend wanted the company.
Spent the rest of the weekend doing house chores and getting a quilt ready to be basted. It will be mainly be hand quilted. It's for charity and the quilt top was donated. The person who donated it did not do a good job of piecing and the only way to get rid of the wrinkles, waves and warps is to fudge it - something not easily done with machine quilting. I know this can be a difficult pattern, but hey - just because it's charity doesn't mean you can dump yer junk!

So the topic for today is "How to be a Supportive Friend" - yup, that's right, not a rant!!!
A couple of life lessons I've learned ....

• your job is to LISTEN - there's an art to listening and here's the biggest hint - DON'T INTERRUPT or express your own opinion, you're there to listen not talk. Your friend needs to express herself, her thoughts and opinions,
  
• DON'T JUDGE. No one can truly open up and discuss what's on their mind or heart if they fear being judged! Remember the golden rule ...people in glass houses
  
• give feedback/your own opinion only when asked - unsolicited advice is unwelcome, patronizing and insulting
  
• BE HONEST - if you don't want what someone has just generously offered - say No ThankYou. This is direct yet still polite, and much much nicer than the blow-off lie "I'll come and get some latter" Who you kidding? Don't think the person you just said that to doesn't have a clue!
• Help find a solution which maintains everyone's dignity. In the east they call it saving face - same thing. The best solution is one that works for everyone!!!
• Allow your friend to make their own life choices. It may not be what you would have chosen - but it's not your choice - it's their life!
  

.Here's some websites I've found:

• How to be a supportive Friend from BeReal magazine.
• Social Support, How to Cultivate a Circle of Friends
• How to Create Truly Supportive Friendships
  

Ok, enough proselytizing for one day! TTFN

I Really Really Really Hate Winter!

I really really really hate winter! At least by mid February I do! I'm just really really tired of snow storms and digging myself out of snow drifts and wearing 27 layers of clothes, and doubling up on socks and mitts and. I'm sick of my winter wardrobe, I'm sick of the cold, I'm sick of no daylight - Phew I'm exhausted before I even get outside!

One great thing this weekend I finished the vintage quilt repair job - well, not totally, I still have to replace the binding, but I have finished replacing, oh about 300-400 individual pieces on a vintage log cabin. Did I want to do this ? Am I crazy? Was I "voluntold" by a family member? YES! Do I expect payment - You Betcha - big time!


So, next week I hope to get help sandwiching/basting a charity double wedding ring I'll be hand quilting. I guess I'll have to get on the phone and call in some help! I may not get to quilting it, but I can at least get it basted this year ! Next I hope to make up something for our "Tree" challenge. I have lots of ideas, unusual for me, so I really want to get started and make something. Also, since this is the year of the "Golden Pig" I'm hoping to get to work on the McKenna Ryan Pigs quilt - yeah!
Lots of ideas - so little time. Oh, and I can't forget the Robyn Pandolph workshop, after all I took a whole day off work to go even though I really don't need lessons in applique, and I'm not particularly interested in folky quilts ... so remind me - why did I sign up for this thing anyway?? For something to do - 'cause I don't have enough to do - HA!
TTFN

The Week from H - Part Deux

So, the week from H contines ....

Had Friday off so started the day with a meeting with my financial advisor - you know, that woman ( I only deal with women, not because I'm Lesbian - not that there's anything wrong with that, but because by doing so I'm making a statement of confidence and I'm a Feminist - not a dirty word!) - that woman who understands numbers and all that other gobblygook financial speak. Things are looking good, I won't ever be rich, but I think I won't starve - which is the point.
After that I scooted off to the local "Value Village" thrift store to look for good wool sweaters to wear. Of course there was nothing because of all those crafters that got there before me and who will felt all the great sweaters and make stupid little purses out of them - am I jealous - YES! Its too D#$% cold out to waste a great wool sweater making a purse.

Anyway, the rest of the weekend was a write off - working with you know who (see Jan. 26th entry). I was realllly good and managed not to blow the top of my head off, or lose my cool. I actually managed to keep my mouth shut (will wonders never cease) and not respond to the conversation hog/know-it-all.

Monday was looking like it should be a great day. The sun was shining and it had actually warmed up a degree or two. I popped out to start the car to let it warm up . I was barely back in side my condo when CRASH! Some "Stupid student" came racing into the parking lot and crashed in MY CAR - only one of two in the parking lot!!! Did he have his license? Insurance ? Ownership ? NOOOO, nothing but a cell phone - not even his car - probably borrowed from his unwitting (or should I say witless) roommate. What kinda idiot leaves the house with nothing but a cell phone? OK, maybe he's not a student, but he is a YSM (Young Stupid Male) - you know the type - the ones who think they own the world! GRRRRRRRRR
So, after spending several WASTED minutes watching this idiot attempt to reassure me, that indeed "He is an honest person, bla bla bla, and will pay cash for the damage - bla bla bla", I left to go about my chores. But hey - wait - now the engine light is on - AGAIN. So now the vehicle from H has to make another visit to that expensive repair shop - the third visit in 3 months !!!! Off to visit the mother and help her with her new computer, then off to sit at the DR's office for 1 HOUR - just to get a prescription refill! So much for an enjoyable day off!

Now Tuesday - I start my morning as usual, and am sitting in the hall drinking my tea while the car warms up. Now doesn't that nice little mouse, the one that's been in my basement ripping into the bags of bird seed, he/she decides to make an appearance and scamper across the hall and under the basement door. Of course I yelp loudly which raises the alarm for Sada the cat - who rouses herself from her after breakfast stupor just to come over and stare at me! Useless cat - not a mouser at all!

Now just in case you think all my weeks are from H, no. Tuesday actually was a good day as I received my new piece of art from Richard Kirk, named Mr. Buttons. OOOOOh, it will go in my sewing room - or over my bed. I'm sooo happy. It reminds me of myself and my best friend when we were eight, and I love the buttons!

So, Friday is looking ugly, a long time friend of the family has passed away - so I'll be commuting between the car repair shop and the funeral home. Yuck. Here's hoping NEXT week is relaxed, peaceful and uneventful! I deserve it~!
Cheers and Ta Ta for now.