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Monday, February 26, 2007

How to be a Supportive Friend

So the weekend was great, did some antiquing with a friend. I was along for moral support and the vicarious shopping experience. Was almost tempted to purchase a lovely walnut Eastlake style Gingerbread clock, but resisted the temptation. Yeah for me for being strong! Then we went out for dinner. I wasn't planning on it but sensed my friend wanted the company.
Spent the rest of the weekend doing house chores and getting a quilt ready to be basted. It will be mainly be hand quilted. It's for charity and the quilt top was donated. The person who donated it did not do a good job of piecing and the only way to get rid of the wrinkles, waves and warps is to fudge it - something not easily done with machine quilting. I know this can be a difficult pattern, but hey - just because it's charity doesn't mean you can dump yer junk!

So the topic for today is "How to be a Supportive Friend" - yup, that's right, not a rant!!!
A couple of life lessons I've learned ....
  • your job is to LISTEN - there's an art to listening and here's the biggest hint - DON'T INTERRUPT or express your own opinion, you're there to listen not talk. Your friend needs to express herself, her thoughts and opinions,
  • DON'T JUDGE. No one can truly open up and discuss what's on their mind or heart if they fear being judged! Remember the golden rule ...people in glass houses
  • give feedback/your own opinion only when asked - unsolicited advice is unwelcome, patronizing and insulting
  • BE HONEST - if you don't want what someone has just generously offered - say No ThankYou. This is direct yet still polite, and much much nicer than the blow-off lie "I'll come and get some latter" Who you kidding? Don't think the person you just said that to doesn't have a clue!
  • Help find a solution which maintains everyone's dignity. In the east they call it saving face - same thing. The best solution is one that works for everyone!!!
  • Allow your friend to make their own life choices. It may not be what you would have chosen - but it's not your choice - it's their life!
.Here's some websites I've found:
Ok, enough proselytizing for one day! TTFN

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